The Sunday After

I know, it's been a really long time since my last post. I could drop a barrage of excuses, but the truth is that we make time for the things that are most important to us and my blog fell to the bottom of that list recently.

My head has turned to mush from too much work, driving, and a Miss Michigan weekend to boot. The day after Miss Michigan always carries a heavy weight for me. There's so much energy leading up to Saturday night and then on Sunday morning everyone is completely exhausted and 99% of the people are going home profoundly disappointed. It's really hard for me to watch anyone go through what I went through, especially people I love. The disappointment can be almost unbearable and every year I have to ask myself why we continue to set ourselves up for this kind of pain.

This year was the first time I sat in the audience and watched the pageant. It gave me a new found respect for the hell I put my family through when I was competing. Every round of elimination was more gut wrenching than the last and listening to those dreaded words 'and the first runner-up is...' followed by the name of my friend panged me. At the same time, it was so exciting to see the new Miss Michigan crowned and watch her life change completely in a single moment.

It was an emotional weekend; one that brings back so many years of struggle, triumph, and heartache. What is so comforting is the fact that no matter how many times my faith in this program is tested, I always walk away from it believing that the journey is truly worth the effort regardless of the outcome. I pray that the 27 young women who made the miserable car ride home today will eventually feel the same way. My heart is still breaking for them.

gv